恋爱恐惧症

这问题最近一直围绕着我
恋爱恐惧症

是啊

说真的我真的害怕了

害怕自己的冷漠害怕自己的三心二意

更害怕再伤害别人了

唉~！

怎么不是每个课题都有个标准的答案呢

没有标准的答案

我又该如何做决定呢

很怕再一次做错决定了

最近流行“平行时空”

我承认在这时空中，我或许不是个好人

那到底平行时空中的我是个怎样的人呢

平行时空中的我又是和谁在一起呢

J & J

今天终于选择和你坦白说清楚了

伤害了你真的很对不起

但毕竟我们都已是 5 年的好朋友了

我真的真的不希望失去你这个好朋友

我依然希望我们能像往常一样

大家一起嬉嬉闹闹的

虽说如此

但你忽然的大转变也真的蛮吓人的

刚刚接到你的电话

我真的不知道还能和你说些什么

只能任由沉默联系着我们

你问我如果你约我出去我会觉得害怕吗

说真的  我不懂

与其说害怕不如说是尴尬把

毕竟发生过的事 不是说忽略就能忽略

总是需要点时间吧

现在除了顺其自然

让时间冲淡一切

应该都没其他办法了吧

———————————————————————————————————

而你

我好像对你有那么点动心了吧

我就和你说过不要让我那么依赖着你

倘若以后我不能再依赖你了

那我该怎么办呢

真的不懂昨晚我到底在发什么神经

为什么偏偏就是要跟你呕气呢

半年的愚蠢约定

别说半年  半天不到我就想你了

你 也会想我吗

这半年内  真的不找我了吗

邦咯岛一直都是我很想很想去的地方

当你昨晚对我说你打算要带我去时

我有点惊讶但开心的成分占了大半

经历了太多太多的失望后

我对别人对我说过的话或承诺 都不会抱有什么希望

但这次我能任性地有所期待吗

希望这次的期望不会是另一个失望

选择题

小时候  总是特别喜欢选择题

可能当时特别单纯  思考能力没那么强

所以总是希望能有选择

省略了复杂的思考

尤其考试时大家都特别喜欢选择题

但  那是有标准答案的选择题

人生的道路上有那么多的选择题

又有多少个有标准答案的呢

没有标准答案的选择题

又怎么知道  我们的选择  到底是对还是错的呢

每每要做选择或决定时

总是犹豫不决

可能是因为不懂自己到底想要什么

又或者害怕结果
偏偏做选择的只能是自己

就算旁人给的意见再多建议再多

最终还是得过自己那关

终于知道为什么小孩子能无忧无虑地生活

而大人们总是那么的烦恼

真的真的好烦恼

虽然从不后悔自己所做的决定

但 总是希望自己的决定是对的

希望这次也不例外

对不起

一个无心的举动一句无意的话

原来可以伤害那么多人

对不起

我真的没有要伤害你们的意思

虽然现在误会解决了

但这不代表问题不存在

而我除了让一切顺其自然

我真的不知该怎么办

对不起

你们别一直说我聪明

其实最笨的人是我
若不是我说错话

今天就不会害那么多人烦恼受伤

若不是我没察觉到你们的感觉

那我或许还能补救阻止

若我心思能更细密一点

那我一定能知道原来你们为了保护我却一直在受伤
我真的讨厌我自己了

或许从小到大一直努力学着让自己坚强

往往忽略了在身旁关心着自己的朋友

也只有经过今天这事件才发现到

原来有一直有那么多人在我身边保护着我

而自己其实也没想像中坚强

即时一直努力着让自己能比男生更坚强

到头来却和别的女生没什么两样

好像有点讽刺

唉~！

对不起
都是因为我的不懂爱情

才让你们受伤了

而现在我真的很害怕再次让你们受到伤害

有句话说：

最不想伤害的人往往就是被伤最深的人

我好希望我能做些什么

却好像什么都不能做

除了对不起

我真的不知还能做些什么说些什么了

真的对不起~！


19/02/2011

A Crazy Night

Journey for the day (07/02/2011) :

1030am  Journey back to Kampar

1230am  Attend class 

0200pm  Yum Cha at McD

0330pm  Journey to Genting Highland

0300am  Back in Kampar

What a crazy day I had for my life. A sudden decision made to Genting Highland without any preparation and planning. I din't even have time to take my jacket along.

Traffic jam cost us 3 hours to reach Genting. Took tom yum as my dinner which makes me started "crying". It does not taste good but quite spicy (for me). But not bad, crying makes my eyes look nicer (according to someone). Hahahax~

Next we went to arcade game station. One of my favourite places in Genting. We played lots of childish but fun games. Hit those buttons till my hands almost patah. Hahax. First time scoring 300 points too for basketball machine in Genting. We are perfect partner~! XD

We had magic show after a walk just because some one never watch magics before. Hahahax. But the magician is so cool~! He can play those difficult and amazing magics. I never see such an amazing show before.

Finally we had a movie before going back Kampar. The Green Hornet by Jay Chou and Cameron Diaz. First time watching movie in Genting and also first time watching 3D. Maybe the effect is not that much, 3D for this movie is not that special. Overall still ok ler.

Due to time constrain, we can not visit the beautiful garden. Started our journey to Kampar at 1am. It's too dark for driving with no traffic light along the "mountain". It's kinda dangerous and it make me felt so worry as both of us were so tired and sleepy. Luckily we manage to make our way home safely by forcing my friend to wash his face every two rest house. ^^

What a wonderful and crazy night I had in this chinese new year~ The best part of course is to have U with me~  Thank you so much for giving me such a wonderful night.  ^^
被呵护的感觉真的很棒~♥

手表

最近迷恋上手表

但很可惜的

由于我的手非常非常小

很难找到我合适的手表

尤其我特别喜欢那种大大的手表

带起来美极了

所以我还是必须要努力吃肥点

酱我就可以带美美的手表穿美美的衣服咯~

The Last Waltz

Three weeks more and we will be having our valentine event

Everyone is so excited in looking for partners

They say it's a must to have a partner for the night but who should I bring??

Whenever there's waltz, it reminds me of you

How can I dance anymore?

-The Last Waltz - Engelbert Humperdinck-

I wondered should I go or should I stay
The band had only one more song to play
And then I saw you out the corner of my eyes
A little girl alone and so shy
I had the last waltz with you
Two lonely people together
I fell in love with you
The last waltz should last forever 
But the love we had was goin' strong
Through the good and bad we'd get along
And then the flame of love died in your eye
My heart was broke in two when you said goodbye
I had the last waltz with you
Two lonely people together
I fell in love with you
The last waltz should last forever
It's all over now
Nothing left to say
Just my tears and the orchestra playing 

E-M-O

忧郁陪伴我度过这几天

不知怎么了 胸口闷闷的

做什么事都提不起劲似的

就喜欢一个人躲在房里乱想一通

想着想着  眼泪流了 心却更闷了

最近好像越来越喜欢哭了 T_T

好想找个人聊聊

却又不知道该找谁该聊什么

忽然好想回到金宝湖边吹吹风

吹走心里的郁闷

The Tourist

Movie : The Tourist

Date : 10/01/2011

Time : 9.45pm

Venue : Jusco

Friends : Wincent, Wah Wah, Ling Ling & Xin Hang

The Tourist is awesome~! You can never know who is the bad guy until the last minute of the movie. Exciting, funny, a little romance, but the best part I like about this movie is the mysterious part of the story line. Really worth watching. I think I'll watch this again~ ^^

A Pitiful Boy

I went to pick up my cousins from school this afternoon at about 1pm and it was drizzling. I brought an umbrella with me, standing in front of the main gate trying so hard to spot my small little cousins out of those few hundred children until I felt someone shaking my cloths. As i look down, I saw a small little cute boy. He ask me whether I have a phone with me and he wanted to make a call to his aunt.I helped him to dial the number and i started feeling worry when I heard his conversation with his aunt. He told his aunt that his "uncle" (referring to his bus driver) is not fetching him today. Who knows his aunt just told him that the "uncle" will come and fetch him at 1.45pm, ask the little boy wait and then she off the call without concerning the situation of the little boy. I told the boy to wait under the porch near the main gate as it was drizzling and the considering the heavy school bag he is taking on his shoulder (the bag seems larger than his size actually), plus there were few cases of abduction. He walk few steps aways and stopped, looking at his watch non-stop. He looks scare, so I brought him to the porch, telling him not to worry, sit there and wait, walk to the main gate only at 1.45pm, and I went back to search for my cousins while at the same time looking at the small boy too. Then I saw the small boy running to me and started crying. I console him and brought him to his assistant headmistress which is standing nearby. Before I manage to say anything, the assistant headmistress says, "U again?" and brought the boy to aside telling him to wait there. I'm still worry about him as he is trying so hard to hold his tears. So I gave him all my coins just in case he need to make any call later. Confirming that his assistant headmistress will be there for him before I walk off.
Until now I cant forget the pity face of the small boy. I regret for not giving him my phone number or asking his phone number so that I can ensure that he reach home safely. What a pity little boy. From the word "U again?", we should know that this is not the first time. I can't understand why his parent or guardian can just left him alone without giving any concern about his situation?? Expecting him to take care of himself in the new environment without any aids?? WHAT A JOKE~! He is just a little standard one boy which just experienced his school life for the 5th day. How can he feel comfortable in this new environment. I really feel pity about this boy, worry about him. My tears almost drop down when I saw him crying. How I wish I can protect him by giving him security. I'll go back to the school trying to look for him on Monday. Hopefully I can meet him again.

请原谅我是个天秤座

原谅我是天秤座，我是被动的天秤座。 
如果你不喜欢我，如果你不注意我，
我最多会告诉你我喜欢你，
但是我做不到再而三的恳求，
做不到不断主动的联系和邀请。 

原谅我是天秤座，我从来不会把感动当作感情。 

如果你在我身边太久我都没有爱上你， 

那么是真的我把你当作好朋友。 

而如果我喜欢你，只要你主动伸手，我就会跟你走。 

原谅我是天秤座，擅长暧昧又最厌倦暧昧的天秤座。 

我也不是自己想要不承认不拒绝， 

我只是委婉，我只是真的不忍心伤害你。 

实在不行，那么让你来慢慢明白让你主动离开我吧。 

原谅我是天秤座，我是冷淡但又黏人的天秤座。 

冷淡是因为我没主动联络的习惯，君子之交淡如水。 

黏人是因为我依赖你，想跟你说话想听到你的声音。 

我喜欢你，我希望你也喜欢我想念着我。 

原谅我是天秤座，我不能忍受被忽视， 

我不能忍受你应该分一半给我的时间被用来无视我。 

如果你持续不理睬我，我会不开心，不高兴， 

会生气，会灰心，最后，我就会离开了。 

原谅我是天秤座，我不喜欢吵架，我生气不想说话。 

或者是不出声，或者是玩消失。 

或者是有一句没一句搭腔， 

或者是干脆不上线不开机不回短信不接电话。 

可是如果你真的不来找我，我只会确定， 

你果然不喜欢我。 

原谅我是天秤座，我是容易不安容易犹豫的天秤座。 

我需要鼓励需要你的夸奖。 

我需要你说没关系你在这里，我需要你说我很好， 

我只是要糖的孩子用期待的眼睛在看着你。 

原谅我是天秤座，没有安全感吃醋生气我会闹腾。 

我会耍赖生气捣蛋喋喋不休。 

我只是要你来哄我，我只是要你来抱抱我。 

我只是要你跟我说要乖，不要想太多，因为你爱我。 

原谅我是天秤座，请忍受我的犹豫不决无理取闹和坏脾气。 

如果我确定，你爱我。如果我确定，你对我好。我会对你意想不到的好。 

如果我始终感觉不到你爱我，始终需要我缠着求着你来找我。 

那么我也很容易就灰心，觉得累了想要放弃。

2011

It's already the 4th day of this brand new year.

Almost all my friends started busying with their works regardless of preparation for events or studies.

Looking back to myself, and I realized that I'm not doing anything useful at all.

Think I need to change my life in order to be a better person in all areas.

So, I'd set a few goals for myself for year 2011.

First of all, the most important target for me in this year is to gain weight.

All this while, I'm too slim & considered as underweight. 

In order to make myself prettier, I need to eat more in a healthy way. ;p

The first thing I need to do is to cut down my lovely Maggie Mee.  T_T

Next will be my studies.

Coming semester is the last semester of my 2nd year of degree.

There's no time for me to waste anymore.

I need to work real hard to get back my CGPA or else I'll be regretting for the rest of my life ~

Talking about my campus life, I cant ignore my lovely society of course~!

International Friendship Society

After half year of honeymoon period, we gonna kick start with all our major project in this remaining half year.

Although I'm new in chairing a society & I might not be a top leader but sorry to tell you that I'm not a weak person who will get defeated easily.

The more you look down on me, the more power I can gain from you.

Thus, for those who are preparing to watch the show, please do buy yourself a popcorn & find yourself the best seat.

Together with my lovely committees, we'll show you our power.

Lately, I'd learned that communication skill & confidence are very important elements for a good leader.

For normal situation, these should not be a problem for me.

But when it comes to language, I'll start getting headache.

English is a problem for me.

I'll start losing confidence when i need to communicate with those who are "pro" in communicating in English, in public especially.

Regret for not listening to my dad when I was small.

Forgetting the past~

It's never too late for me to start learning.

After chatting with Kelvin last night, we suddenly realized that we are no longer a kid anymore.

We're already 21 this year.

Time passed without informing us.

I need to learn to be a more mature person & not fooling around like a useless person anymore.

I won't "hope" that I can achieve all goals because I'll realize it.

Friends, pls support & help me in achieving my targets for 2011~ ^^

天秤座之不能说的爱

Here's a post i got from one of the FB application. You may have a look on this~ This is so true~ =)

天秤座 - 宁相忘

天秤座爱上了一个人，以深刻的方式，那么他们宁可在一次美妙的擦肩而过后，彻底忘了这个人。免得日后，女的一手牵着孩子一手拎着菜篮，眼袋浮肿头发凌乱，憔悴难看；男的明显发福，顶着啤酒肚还略微秃头，非但没留住爱情，连一个刹那都无力挽回。

天秤座

天秤喜欢和谐，喜欢人群，终生都在追求着心的归属，只为了能有一个永远的避风港，让自己在受伤的时候可以静静的休养生息。

经典语录

1  如果感情的重量也能秤量，那么我也会比较受欢迎了吧！

2  爱情，是留给懂得爱自己的人。那里不是单行道，爱有多少，付出就要有多少。

爱情保护伞 - 复古贵族伞

作为天秤爱情的保护伞很难，那些优雅的细节，边边角角，无一不散发着美好瞬间，也同时会将现实的俗态衡击得一塌糊涂。在古典韵律的贵族伞下，人可以偶尔穿越时空的爱恋，但要是黄鹤一去不复返相信也没几个人是真心想去的。拿古代的浪漫去维系当今，贵族的情调来影响平民，虽然上了格调，可总是让人吃不消。

如果爱天秤，就不要伤害他们

9 月 24 日 ~ 10 月 23 日 传说里，有一种鸟儿，自出生起，一直流浪飞翔，不停。它从来不唱歌，天空任何一个角落，都留下它流浪的足迹。直到看到它心属的荆棘，才会落脚，将自己的胸脯插入荆棘里，自流出鲜血的嘴里，唱出一生最动听的歌曲，直至死亡。

其实十二星座里，天秤的灵魂就像荆刺鸟

“朋友满天下，知己无一人。” 就是天秤最佳的写照。聚会里，天秤不会是最光彩照明的那一个，他会笑着看众人喧闹，微笑以对。但是冷场的时候，出来活跃气氛的，绝对是天秤。每一个朋友里，都有天秤用心对待的一部分，却不是全部。面具重重地盖在脸上，天秤小心翼翼地将自己的真心，分给朋友，不会只给一个人。因为天秤承受不起背叛。如果把真心给一个人，承受的背叛，将是美顶之灾。所以，真正陷入爱情的天秤，是悲哀的。爱上，就代表把自己的弱点，都交于了一个人。

天秤就是这样

每个朋友有他留下的友情，却无法让他不安的灵魂落脚，他总是一直在默默流浪寻觅，那属于自己的荆棘，属于自己的落脚之地。当天秤寻到的时候，宁可荆棘刺穿自己的胸脯，他也会很认真地歌唱，把生命交于，在所不惜。未真爱上的天秤，眼泪是为朋友而流的。不会在朋友面前流，坚强，微笑地安慰着不幸的朋友，一直到朋友转身，背地而流。

君子之交淡如水

天秤对每个人的好，换来的是一些不懂天秤的不屑。当那些误以为自己只是点头之交的朋友，获得幸福的时候，有些人会忘记天秤给予的友谊。天秤只会在那些朋友的背后，淡淡微笑着祝福，就算那些朋友离开了，也不会责备。天秤隐忍，为朋友所伤，在心里，却依然能微笑如故。直到朋友越来越不把天秤放在心上的时候，天秤的真心，被伤得鲜血淋漓的时候，天秤会很优雅地说声：再见，一定要珍重。然后平静离开那个，伤害自己太深的朋友。于是这些不了解天秤的人，坏脾气地指责天秤决绝，不重视友谊。其实他们自己没有反省，自己伤天秤更深。其实，友谊上没有谁对谁错。天秤只是脾气太好，容易把周身的人，都宠成坏脾气。

天秤喜欢黑夜

因为黑夜是他最好盔甲，阳光下只能看到他隐忍的微笑，只有月亮才看得到他隐忍了一天的背上。所以，天秤积压在心底的伤口，靠着他一个人砥，很累很累，直到他找到心属的经济这时，小心翼翼的接近。

天秤其实不是流连花丛的花蝴蝶

只是一直在寻找落脚的归属，一个让他伤得太重时，容他砥伤的避风港。天秤不会将一切困难心事都向避风港哭诉，只是等着悲伤过后，才装着不满的样子，跟着挚爱撒娇，说着一些无关乎悲伤之事。如果天秤找到了真爱，他同样不会在最爱的人面前哭泣。但是他的眼泪从此不再留给朋友，只为挚爱而流。那些关乎友谊的背上，关乎爱情的伤，他会隐忍，直至最后不能承载，彻底信任你的时候，向你倾诉。

不要怪天秤的淡然

天秤只是为了保护自己太重。真爱你的时候，会慢慢向你敞开心怀，但是不要太急。天秤的心灵就像是含羞草，慢慢綻开枝叶，受不得一点点惊吓，如果在未全开放之时，就伤害天秤的心，那天秤的心从吃闭得更紧。不要怪天秤不把心事告诉你。天秤的心事，自己承受，是为了不让挚爱担心，但是天秤的眼底，容易让挚爱看穿，那不要追问。只需将天秤轻轻拥抱，就是最好的安慰与容纳。天秤同样喜欢朋友，但是朋友给不了天秤，劳累的归属。

如果你与天秤确定了关系，就成为他的避风港

爱天秤，就承担起属于天秤的悲哀。如果一味地埋怨他留连花丛中，指责他，实属无辜。如果真这样，请你自问一下 ：你给天秤的安全感，够了吗？他的悲哀，你都能承担吗？如果你无法容纳这样的天秤，无法承载关于天秤的悲哀，请你一定要坚决地回拒天秤，远离天秤，如果你宽容天秤，反而让一味自以为是对人好的天秤，更深地依赖你，当你实在承载不起这种悲哀这时，天秤受的伤，将会毁了整个天秤。

真正被毁掉的天秤，你见过吗？

对爱情不再期望，对人不再信赖，剩下的，只是对爱情的嘲弄，以及一个真正的花芯冷血之辈，诞生。如果你无法这样承担天秤的悲哀，为友情争风吃醋，请你远离天秤。